


Learning When to Duck

by Sherlyjohn



Series: Who Mourns for the Living [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Everything Hurts, Flashbacks, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, I keep hurting Steve, I'm Sorry, Ice, M/M, PTSD, Panic, Poor Bucky, Protective Steve Rogers, Sad, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Slow Burn, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Story 2, Tony is a dick sometimes, frozen, i'm the worst, part of a series, poor steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-05-29 07:31:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6364963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sherlyjohn/pseuds/Sherlyjohn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve is pushed to the limits trying to help Bucky re-adapt to life with him and the Avengers. However, each setback causes Steve to begin to loose faith in his ability to take care of the one he loves. (See Authors notes for information on the Kudos Challenge).</p>
<p>Part 2 in the Who Mourns for the Living series. (Can be read alone but is better to read with the first part).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all!   
> I'm doing a Kudos Challenge-of-sorts with this series. When any parts of this series reaches 50 kudos or more, I will write a bonus scene, tacked on to the end of the story. It will be a part of the story that either contains fluff or smut, or whatever pleases the audience the most.
> 
> If any story gets to 100 kudos or more, you can write suggestions in the comment box with story ideas/prompts for the next part in this series. I will then choose one idea and write it based on that prompt!   
> So tell your friends and I'll do the rest.
> 
> Thanks for being the best! And enjoy!

_Learning When to Duck_

 

In all honesty, he should have seen this coming.

He ducked as another barrage of bullets fired his way. He rolled behind a box of barrels and they exploded, pouring out in waves of scarlet. The cellar Steve had been lured to smelled of must and the strong scent of wine.

He’d dropped his shield somewhere in the back of the cellar and hissed in frustration as another round fired into the barrels, grazing his exposed shoulder.

He pulled out a spare gun from his belt but the bullets stopped and a dull thud echoed around the room. Steve poked his head out from behind the barrel and saw someone grinning at him through the dark, his shield in one hand, a gun in the other.

“Gonna hide out here all day, Rogers?”

“Not a chance, Barnes.” Steve stood and marched toward Bucky.

“Once you two are done flirting, I could use a hand.” Natasha’s panting voice came from their comms.

“Back to work.” Bucky grinned, handing Steve his shield.  

They sprinted up the stairs, taking out two guards as they went.

“I’m thinking the rest of the gang should be here by now.” Bucky said to Steve, throwing a punch to a nearby guard’s jaw.

“Yeah, Professor X said they were coming.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, barely visible beneath the black war paint.

“Those X-Men are never on time.”

And as though on cue, a whooshing sound filled the room and a bright purple ring appeared in front of them. Three people emerged. The first woman had streaks of purple colouring her dark hair and purple marks around her eyes. She glanced around and looked to a taller man who had followed her through the portal, unsheathing long metal claws from his hands. The third man had dark blonde hair and a young face.

“Captain America I assume?” the young blonde boy asked, holding out his hand.

“Yeah.” Steve said, shaking his freezing hands, “and you?”

“Bobby. Most call me Iceman.”

Bucky glanced at the tallest man, his eyes traveling down to his sharp claws.

“You.” Wolverine growled, his muscles tensing and advancing toward Bucky, “Whaddya think you’re doing here?”

Steve stepped between them.

“Woah, Logan. We’re all friends here.”

“We’re not. He’s a monster-“ Logan began, licking his lips.

“No. Not here. We were all called here by Professor X and he needs all of our help, together.” Steve grinded out, his eyes flashing dangerously.

“I remember you.” Bucky’s eyes lit up with recognition.

“I bet you do.” Logan hissed.

The woman rolled her eyes and hissed in a thick accent, “Aren’t we supposed to be fighting?”

“Yes.” Steve nodded to her, “thank you.” He handed each of the X-Men a communications device from his pocket and said, “Keep in touch.”

“I’m Blink by the way.” She nodded to Steve.

“Cool trick you did there.”

“Anyone? I’ve got my hands a bit full up here!” Natasha’s irritated voice filtered through the comms once more.

“Right. On our way. We’ve got backup now.” Steve responded.

They sprinted up the stairs, Blink jumping into another one of her portals.

They reached the top level of the estate which looked out over a large Vineyard, with plots upon plots of sloping hills, vines growing along each stock.

Steve saw Natasha attempting to fight 5 guards at once, as she skilfully maneuvered around each assailant. Her face was covered in cuts.

“Widow, what’s the status?”

“They sounded the alarm. More are coming.”

“We’ve gotta get into open territory, it’ll give us the upper hand.” Steve began, “Everyone outside.”

As they headed for the door three more guards appeared to block the entrance. Wolverine slicked through two of them and Iceman froze the third.

Steve lead the way out of the mansion, Bucky covering the rear.

A huge blast of electricity exploded from the mansion, throwing them from the house.

“What the-“ Iceman began.

“Ah hello.” A booming voice crooned from the crumbling mansion.

“Magneto.” Wolverine growled, voice low.

Magneto floated above them, scraps of metal flying around him.

“Well I see Charles invited the _Avengers_ to come and join this puny little party.” His voice dripped with amusement.

“What do you want, Eric?” Wolverine asked.

“I want what all mutants want, to be free. But some people, like the previous owner of this mansion, wants to see mutants burned at the stake. I am disinclined to let that happen.”

“We don’t want that either. But killing doesn’t have to be the solution.” Steve protested loudly over the wine of electricity.

Blink appeared beside them, a ruffled-looking man in her grasp.

“Ah. I see Charles wants this man just as much as I do.” Magneto laughed and touched down beside them. The metal suspending him in the air dropped as well.

“Charles wants us to bring him back alive, Eric. To bring him to justice.” Iceman corrected, scowling at Magneto.

He adjusted his helmet and stepped forward, purple cape billowing in the wind.

“That man does not deserve to live. Not when he’s committed war crimes against mutants.”

“Blink, take him back to Professor X, we’ll deal with him.” Steve whispered.

Blink glanced at Wolverine who nodded. She threw a teleportation ring before her as Magneto stretched out a hand. Steve barrelled into Magneto, knocking him off his feet.

Blink and the man disappeared.

“Why did Charles ask for you?” Magneto growled, anger filling his dark eyes.

Steve kept him pinned and said, “We were in the area. Thought we’d drop by.”

Steve felt his shield being wrenched from his hand, as Magneto pulled it magnetically toward him.

He slammed Steve with his own shield. Bucky launched himself forward, but Magneto used his own arm against him, hitting Steve instead.

Wolverine pounced, knocking Magneto back.

“Extraction team, what’s your ETA?” Iceman asked into the comms.

“4 minutes.” Came Beast’s voice.

“Magneto’s here. Don’t get in range.”

“You got it. Meet us by the south side of the mansion.” Beast replied.

“Working on it.” Steve breathed, trying to push the shield off his neck as it attempted to strangle him.

“Mrs. Frost-“ Magneto called from somewhere behind him. A woman appeared from the smouldering remains of the mansion. Her eyes sparkled, her skin appeared to be made purely of diamonds, dazzling in the sun.

“Tear them apart.” Magneto commanded, “They’ve lost us our prize.”

The pressure from the shield was lifted and Steve got to his feet as the woman strode forward, raising a glittering hand towards Steve.

“Wolverine, who-“

The noise seemed to switch off around him. He saw through what could only be described as a smoky haze. Some kind of cloud had gathered around them, obscuring his vision. He heard shouts and the sounds of guns. An explosion rang out behind him. He swivelled on the spot. A group of men ran toward him. They looked tattered and worn. Steve squinted and saw a man in a short red beard charging forward.

“They’re closing in!”

“Dugan? What?”

Another bomb exploded and threw the group off their feet. Steve shielded himself from the heat and flames burning brightly around them and stumbled forward.

Dugan lay dead on his side, the other commandos were howling in pain or eyes open, unseeing to the black sky above them. _This couldn’t be happening. They shouldn’t be here._ Steve thought.

“You failed them.”

Steve looked around wildly. Bucky stood above him, eyes dark, covered in blood. His arm was glowing silver against the flickering flames, blood dripping around them.

“You killed them all. And you killed me.”

“Buck, no I-“

“You aren’t a hero. You couldn’t save any of your friends.” Bucky nodded toward the dead commandos.

“Buck- I’m sorry, I-“

Bucky landed a punch to Steve’s jaw, “You turned me into this. You did this to me.”

Steve stumbled. Bucky tackled him, pinning him down, eyes alight with hatred. He landed punch after punch to Steve’s face, until it was bloody and bruised.

The smoke began to clear and Steve coughed.

Steve tried to push Bucky off of him, looking around.

The commandos had gone, but he now saw Black Widow attacking Wolverine as Iceman stumbled forward.

Magneto and the girl made of crystals watched. The woman’s eyes were closed in concentration and then Magneto beckoned her away toward their jet.

Bucky slammed Steve’s head onto the ground and Steve blinked as he saw stars.

“Bucky-“

“YOU KILLED ME.”

“I’m sorry I- we need to get out of here.” Steve mumbled. _Something was terribly wrong._ Wolverine had knocked Black Widow off her feet and his claws were drawn to her throat.

Iceman’s eyes widened as he shot ice toward Bucky and Steve.

A frigid cold filled him, taking his breath away. Bucky was thrown off of him as Steve felt an icy cold envelope his torso and spread through him.

He choked as the cold seeped through his skin to his bones, his eyes shut against the stabbing pain in his skin.

_He was trapped, freezing in the ice, he had never escaped, this was all a dream._

“Captain Rogers…? Captain? Can you hear me? We need to get up and get out of here. Can you stand.”

Steve opened his eyes, the world swimming into view. The blue sky shone above him, spotted by white clouds.

A blue face appeared above him, covered in thick blue fur, and glasses perched on the bridge of his nose.

Steve blinked and he came into sharper focus.

“We have to move.”

He lifted his head and a sharp pain twinged through his neck, and cold spread through his abdomen. He looked down to see a block of ice forming around his middle. Beast extended a furry, clawed hand and Steve took it, numbly. The world spun and he stumbled, but soft hands caught him and held him upright.

A breeze played through the air and he shivered.

“Come on-“

“The others…?”

“They’re already inside, Scott helped them. Come on.”

“Are they all-“

“They’re going to be fine.” Beast assured him, leading him toward the jet, helping him inside.

He blinked at the change of light in the interior of the X-Men’s jet.

Steve looked around. He saw Natasha clutching a cloth to her shoulder, blood still dripping from the wound. Wolverine sat slumped against the chair, heaving softly as a bullet wound stitched itself back together in his abdomen and one in his shoulder seemed to be already healed.

Steve’s teeth began to chatter. He looked wildly around and his eyes landed on Bucky, buckled into a seat, staring at the opposite wall, giving it the one hundred yard stare.

He sat beside Bucky, shivering violently.

“Steve.” Natasha murmured, getting up as Beast closed the back doors. Her face was covered in blood and it oozed from her injured shoulder.

Steve’s mind buzzed and memories floated to the surface, snatching away his reality as the coldness settled into his bones.

“He needs a blanket. Or at least something to warm him up.” He heard Natasha say from somewhere far off. He blinked away the frozen vestige in his mind and Natasha’s face came into view, painted in concern. She wrapped a warm blanket around his shoulders and pulled a knife from her boot.

“I’m going to have to cut the ice away.”

Steve shivered but nodded, teeth chattering violently as he tried to keep a grip on his reality.

Bobby stood as well, just as the plane ascended, jostling his steps a bit.

“I’m so sorry- is he… alright?” Bobby asked Natasha, “It’s that Emma Frost woman, she’s a telepath. She got in my head and they looked like the enemy… I-“

Natasha shot him a look and murmured, “she got in everyone’s heads. He just has trouble with the cold.”

She jabbed the knife into the block of ice surrounding his middle. Steve barely reacted, save flinching a bit.

“Thank god it didn’t hit him full on.” A voice said.

Natasha and Bobby turned to see a tall man with long red glasses covering his eyes craning his neck from his position in the co-pilots seat.

“I can try to cut it off with these.” He tapped his glasses, a small grin tugging at his lips.

Natasha studied him for a moment, “You sure you won’t cut him in half, Cyclops?”

“Oh, no. I’m very careful.” Scott unbuckled himself and Beast grunted disapprovingly, “Will you all stay put, this isn’t a commercial airline, and I’m pretty sure the seatbelt sign is on.”

“Cool it, Beast. We know you’re a capable pilot.” Scott walked over to Steve, who could barely keep his eyes open.

Scott brushed him on the shoulder and Steve blinked slowly up at him, shivering once more, his eyes clouded in pain.

“I’m going to cut this ice off you, Steve. I’m very careful, but I do have laser vision, so you’re going to have to hold still.”

Steve nodded vaguely, forgoing trying to understand what was going on. The ice around his middle stung and it felt as though it was sucking the life force from him.

_He closed his eyes and saw the cold water and ice engulf his body as the plane sunk lower and lower into the water. The ice froze him from the bottom up, creeping to every inch of his skin, until every pore of his body shrieked for release. Instead the ice drowned him slowly, dragging him into its icy jaws._

But now… there was a sharp heat around his middle, a prickling heat turning white hot. Voices followed, muffled in his delusions.

“I think I’m almost done… I just can’t- get this last part… There.”

The heat burned around his middle and his eyes flew open, wild, panting breaths escaping his mouth.

“Steve. Steve. You’re okay. Calm down. It’s off.”

He didn’t notice he was hyperventilating until Natasha tightened the blanket around him. He looked up at her finally, his surroundings coming into view.

“You burned him a bit on the hip.” Natasha scolded Scott, who sighed and said, “Well, can’t always be perfect. Sorry Cap.”

Steve waved his hand vaguely in thanks and felt Natasha probing the wound on his hip carefully. It didn’t sting much, barely an open wound. Steve hardly felt it.

“You’re okay now, Steve.” Natasha whispered so only Steve could hear, her breath ghosting over his cheek.

“Are… you okay?” Steve gritted out through his still chattering teeth.

“Yeah. I just got scratched up when Wolverine attacked me, is all.” Natasha breathed, though her eyes told a different story. She sat down on the other side of Steve and glanced Bucky’s direction. His eyes were still locked with the wall opposite him, obvious to his surroundings.

“Is he-“

“He’ll be f-fine.” Steve interjected sharply, as though he wouldn’t believe anything to the contrary.

Natasha nodded, “We all took a hit.”

She glanced at Wolverine, hunched on a chair in the corner, eyes closed tight against whatever pain he was forced to relive.

Natasha grabbed a first-aid kit from the bottom of one of the seats with a grunt of pain and began threading a suture.

“Here, let me. I have a pretty steady hand.” Bobby offered, and he made work of a sloppy suture on the long, ugly gashes from her shoulder running down to her arm.

Steve closed his eyes too after he was reassured she would be okay, slightly fearful of what he would remember, but far too tired to keep them open any longer.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Beast dropped the Avengers back at Stark Tower, landing skilfully on the pad alongside the tower.

“Thanks for d-dropping us off.” Steve chattered, still unable to get warm.

“It’s the least we could do with the help you gave us.” He clapped a pawed hand to Steve’s back and smiled, “Take care of yourself.” Steve discarded the blanket and lead Natasha out of the jet. Bucky followed mutely, having not uttered a single word on the long trip back. Logan nodded silently to them, but glared at Bucky. Too tired to understand Wolverine's feud with Bucky, Steve shrugged it off. Bobby offered another hurried apology.

“It’s alright. I’ll be f-fine.” Steve replied, “good work out there.”

Scott saluted them before the doors closed behind them and the jet lifted off.

“Let’s get inside.” Natasha suggested, looking pale.

Steve nodded and opened the outside door to the top deck through the hand scanner, overlooking the clouded city. The sun was beginning to set, casting dazzling lights of the buildings below.

“JARVIS. Is anyone here?” Steve asked.

“Mr. Wilson and Doctor Banner are here, sir.”

“Great, notify them that we’re b-back and we need m-medical.” Steve glanced at Bucky and softly asked him, “Were you h-hurt anyw-where Buck?”

Bucky turned to him and for the first time his eyes cleared, and filled with anger, “I’m fine. You don’t need to walk on eggshells around me.” He spat.

Steve stepped back and nodded, “W-wasn’t trying to.”

They rode the elevator in silence to Bruce’s lab which doubled as a medical lab on occasions such as these. Both Natasha and Bucky stiffened at the sight of the medical instruments and silver tables, no doubt their memories were still lingering like Steve’s were. Bruce greeted them with a warm smile and they relaxed a bit.

“What happened?” He asked gently, leading Natasha to a chair and she showed him her arm. Bucky walked out of the room, face stony.

Sam came through the door at that moment, passing Bucky who barely glanced at him. Sam grinned at them.

“The gang’s home!” He smile drooped when he noticed the looks on their faces. From Natasha’s pale grimace, to Bucky’s deep scowl as he left the room, to a chattering Steve.

He chose to focus on Steve first.

“What happened man?”

Steve shook his head, “M’fine, j-just cold. Bucky… he’s… well. We t-took a hit.”

Sam turned to Bruce who said, “I have blankets and heating pads in my sleeping quarters. First drawer on the left.

Sam nodded and jogged out of the room, returning moments later with the items in hand.

“Let’s go someplace warmer. If Bruce…” He trailed off, looking at the latter.

“I’ve got this. You two go. Steve, those bruises don’t look too bad but if they’re not better in a few hours come back, okay?”

Steve nodded his thanks.

Sam lead Steve from the room to Steve and Bucky’s quarters a few floors down. He steered a freezing Steve to his door and said, “You need a change of clothes. Go get into something warm and I’ll make you some tea. Oh and if you see Bucky… well, tell him he can join us if he wants. I’ll be in the common area.”

Steve sighed but nodded. He entered his room and listened for sounds of Bucky, and heard the trickle of the shower next door. Smiling slightly, _(at least he was thinking enough to get in the shower)_ he changed out of his uniform. He put on sweatpants and a hoodie before plodding into the bathroom.

“Hey ya Buck-“

“Hum?”

“Sam and I are having tea in the c-commons, once you’re finished up and you want to j-join us, you can.”

“Mmm.” Was his only reply. Steve shrugged and took it as a good sign he was replying at all. It had been almost two months since they had shared that kiss at Corona Park. Since then, they had shared a few moments together, whether it was a kiss or a hug or holding each other after a particularly bad nightmare. But not when Bucky was like this. Because when he did revert back to his Hydra training or something of the sort, he would close himself off. No matter how hard Steve tired, he could not break him down to _his_ Bucky again until he was ready.

Steve didn’t want to push him, so he merely headed downstairs to find Sam, putting three mugs of steaming tea onto the coffee table with a fire already lit in the fireplace.

Steve, still shivering, sat beside Sam on the couch, and Sam threw two blankets around him and placed the heating pad on his lap.

Steve adjusted it to where the ice had mainly been, and glanced at Sam, “t-thanks.”

Sam nodded and looked him up and down, “Wanna tell me what happened?”

Steve sighed, “Not much to tell. We ran into some trouble with Magneto and this woman… a telepath… she planted images in our minds. Like Scarlet Witch when she first…” Steve trailed off, memoires of the snow and ice and Bucky’s words filtering though, darkening his mind.

“Steve-?” Sam snapped him back to the present and Steve shivered again. “She turned us against each other. And Bucky, he attacked me… He.” Steve cursed his voice for breaking, “…but then Iceman took us both down. He only got around my middle, but, I panicked. I was supposed to be looking out for the team and I lost my head.” Steve threw his hands up in exasperation.

“I think that was the point, of the telepathy. It wasn’t your fault.”

“But I am their leader.” Steve protested insistently.

“Did you complete the mission objective?”

“Yes, but-“

“And did everyone get out alive?”

“Yeah, but-“

“Then I say you led them pretty well.”

“Maybe but-“

“Jesus, Steve. You can’t take a compliment when it hits you in the face.” A voice said from the door.

They glanced around and saw Bucky walking in, hair damp and falling in his face, little droplets of water collecting at the ends. A grin tugged at his mouth.

“Bucky-“ Steve made to stand but Sam put a hand on his arm.

“Sit still and drink your damn tea-“ Sam mumbled, his eyes flashing.

Bucky leaned against the wall, “Better listen to him, he gives good advice.”

“Are you… feeling okay?” Steve asked, hating the way he sounded tentative.

“I should be asking you the same thing, you look like death warmed over.”

“Good choice of words.” Sam rolled his eyes, saying as Steve was still chattering.

Bucky walked forward and kneeled in front of Steve.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered.

“Buck- it’s fine I’m-“

“But you’re not fine!” Bucky blurted, “Those things I said, it wasn’t me, I-“

Steve shook his head, “it’s fine.”

Sam got up, “I um… I have a thing I gotta do. I’m should just....” Sam pointed vaguley in the direction of the elevator.

Steve turned to him, “Thanks, Sam. Really.”

Sam nodded and practically bolted from the room, not before mumbling, “Didn’t even drink the damn tea… what’s the point in cold tea.”

Bucky looked on the verge of tears, “I told myself I wouldn't lose control again. I promised I wouldn’t hurt you-“

“Bucky- Stop. It’s fine, please. I’ll heal. I don’t think you broke any ribs this time.” Steve attempted a smile.

Bucky snorted, “And that’s your gauge of ‘fine’?”

Steve sighed, “It was the ice that had me down for the count.”

“You still cold?” Bucky asked with concern.

Steve shrugged, “Not so much anymore…”

Bucky sat beside him, “She got in my head.” Bucky whispered, “Made me think of you as the enemy.”

“She got in mine too.”

Bucky pulled Steve close, arms around his shoulders, rubbing warmth back into his arms. This is closer than they had been in weeks, and Steve grinned despite himself.

He whispered into Steve’s hair, “I wish I could get a grip.”

Steve pulled his face around to look him in the eye, “You’re doing great.”

Bucky scoffed.

“Really-“ Steve insisted, “You’re doing so well and each day you get better at adjusting. In all honesty, I think you’re adjusting quicker than I did…” He trailed off, remembering those lonely months, some of which Steve had spent isolated in that damn cabin Fury had set him up in, ‘to recover him’. He shook his head and sighed.

“I have you.” Bucky replied.

Steve smiled warmly and Bucky buried his head into Steve’s neck, his wet hair shockingly cold after the warmth of the fire and heating pad, but he didn’t mind.

The door opened and a booming voice made them jump.

“Steven! James! You have returned!”

Bucky rolled his eyes at Steve and Steve smiled up at Thor. Natasha followed him inside, showered and arm freshly bandaged.

“Hey Thor, everything alright?”

“I am faring well. Lady Natasha informed me of your mission. It seems as though the woman played mind games with you.”

“Yeah, but we’re alright.” Steve nodded, trying to pull Bucky off but he seemed to be glued to Steve’s side, so he let him be and sipped his now lukewarm tea, Bucky’s eyes drifting closed.

“I would like a feast.” Thor announced and stomped off to the kitchen.

Steve leaned his head against Bucky’s again and Natasha came to sit in the chair across from them.

“You okay?” Steve asked, eyeing her for any other signs of injury.

“Yeah Rogers. Just tired. You two okay?”

Steve glanced at Bucky to see him already falling asleep in his arms and nodded.

Natasha glanced at Steve a moment longer then turned on the TV, turning down the volume. She flipped through Stark’s vast movie collection and finally chose _When Harry Met Sally._

Steve combed his hands through Bucky’s drying hair, pulling the tangles apart gently.

“You think you’ll sleep at all tonight?” Natasha asked Steve in an undertone.

“Not a wink. You?”

Natasha shook her head as well and they settled back to watch the movie. Sam joined them later on as did Thor, trying to quietly eat his popcorn and two steak dinners he had made for himself. Bucky dozed against Steve. It seemed to be the best sleep he’d gotten since they brought him back to the tower. Most nights Steve was woken by the sound of his yelling or Bucky would come into Steve’s bed and curl around him, trembling. Or on a few scary occasions Bucky would be standing over Steve, knife in hand, as though trying to convince himself why he shouldn’t kill him.

So Steve didn’t sleep much these days. But he was alright. He didn’t need as much sleep as most people anyway. And he figured as long as he could still function as their team leader, go on missions and take care of Bucky, he ~~would~~ should be fine.

He shifted positions and his bruised ribs groaned in protest, with Bucky’s added weight pressed against him.

Tony strode in just as Harry was saying, _"But, I would be proud to partake of your pecan pie."_

He smirked around at all of them and pulled his bottom lip into a pout, “You started without me?”

Natasha scoffed but said, “Thor made like ten bowls of popcorn and I’m sure he’ll share one.”

Thor grinned at Tony and boomed, “Brother Tony. Come join us. This movie is quite amusing.”

Sam shushed Thor as Bucky shifted against Steve. He did not wake however and Steve smiled at Thor’s apologetic look.

Tony sat on the floor beside Thor and grabbed a bowl from him.

“How was the mission? Beat the bad guys?”

“Sorta.” Natasha responded in a would-be-casual voice, glancing at Steve.

“What do you mean, was there a mutiny from the mutants? Wolverine go all claws and bad sideburns on you? Tell me all the juicy details.”

“Not much to tell, Tony.” Steve replied, “A telepath got into our heads and-“

“Telepath? Like a honest to god read-your-mind telepath?”

“Yes, Stark. I don’t think we know any other kind.” Natasha drawled.

Tony whistled, “I bet that wasn’t pretty.”

Natasha ignored Tony and turned back to the film.

“C’mon. I mean, you guys are alright though?” Tony sobered, looking between them both, from Natasha’s bandaged shoulder to the now fading bruises on Steve’s face.

“Yeah we’re fine.” Steve replied. Natasha looked like she wanted to add something but closed her mouth, stealing some of Tony’s popcorn instead.

They focused back on the movie. Bucky started to shift against Steve again, his brow furrowing and mumbling words in Russian. He moaned low under his breath, only loud enough for Steve to hear. Worry churned in his stomach and he shook Bucky lightly, wanting to stop whatever horror he was reliving before it really started.

“Buck- hey. Wake up.” Steve shook him lightly, but Bucky’s metal hand closed around Steve’s wrist, gripping him tightly.

“Bucky-“ Steve said a bit louder, shaking his shoulder with his free hand. The grip on his wrist tightened until he felt it snap in two. He let out a yelp and Bucky startled awake. His head collided with Steve’s and Tony yelled, “JARIVS, lights.”

The room erupted in commotion. Bucky gazed around wildly, his knife drawn and speaking very quickly in Russian. Steve’s face had gone pale and he held his wrist in his hand. Natasha was on them in a flash, holding Bucky’s shoulder as he looked like he wanted to murder Steve. She snapped at him in Russian. Sam rushed to Steve, concern and something else clouding his gaze.

“Steve? Is it broken?”

“Yeah.” Steve breathed. He shifted his arm a bit to give Sam a better look and stifled a moan as pain spiked through his wrist.

“I can set it.” Sam offered.

“I’ll grab the supplies.” Tony offered, looking at a loss, “unless… we should do this in a lab-“

“No,” Steve cut him off, “It’s fine here. Please let's just stay.”

“Steve are you sure, you should really get a cast until it heals…” Sam implored.

Steve hardly heard him, eyes trained on Bucky. Natasha had calmed him, using a centering practice a few former SHIELD psychiatrists had taught the team. It was for situations when anyone on the team had forgotten where or who they were. Which was, in all manner of speaking, not unheard of. She murmured soft Russian words into his ear while keeping a grip on his real arm.

“Bucky-“ Steve stood, ignoring the pain that jostled his wrist and Sam’s protests. He walked toward him and Natasha held up a finger to halt him, asking Bucky something. He nodded, his breathing still harsh, and he stowed the knife away.

Natasha nodded to Steve and he rushed to Bucky.

“Buck, hey. You okay?” He brushed his shoulder lightly with his good hand.

“Stevie, I- _are you okay_?”

Steve merely nodded.

Bucky took a step back, horror filling his gaze, “I did that.”

_You’ve done worse and I’m still here._ Steve thought, but stowed the comment away, instead saying, “Buck, I’m fine. Honest. It’ll heal.”

Bucky looked sick, his face filled with disgust and Steve could practically see the self-hatred clawing at his insides.He stepped forward and gave Bucky a one-armed hug, pulling him close and brushing a hand through his hair. His whispered soft words of assurance into Bucky’s ear until he felt Bucky relax a bit and they pulled apart, Steve wincing slightly.

“Let’s get you looked at.” Bucky suggested, his face red with shame.

Steve nodded and sat beside Sam on the couch. Thor hovered nervously, tossing his hammer from hand to hand. Tony had already come back with the kit for splinting and Sam laid out the supplies.

He grabbed what looked like a price scanner and scanned Steve’s wrist, showing an X-Ray photo of the broken bone.

“A clean break. We’ll just splint it until it heals. How long do your broken bones take to heal?” Sam asked Steve.

“Around 4 days… sometimes shorter.” Steve shrugged.

“Good, okay. Then we’ll splint it and let the serum do it’s work.” He kept his tone light but his eyes were filled with a sharp anger. Steve tried to avoid Sam’s gaze as he worked. Natasha, skillful as she was, distracted Thor and Tony with talk about SHIELD, leading them into the kitchen, leaving Sam, Bucky, and Steve alone on the couches. Steve was grateful. The less people that saw him weak the better.

“Does it hurt?” Bucky asked, sheepishly.

“Not so bad.” Steve lied.

Sam shot him a look and went back to work with the splint.

“Where did you learn to do this?” Steve asked Sam, trying to change the topic.

“I was trained in medicine for a few months in basic. This is one of the first things we learned. You know, for easy transport of people with broken legs and all.” He glanced at the two of them, “What, you never had to learn medical procedures in World War II?”

Steve scoffed, “Didn’t have to learn much then, just when to shot and when to duck.”

“You never learned when to duck.” Bucky said, his eyes sad.

Steve breathed out a sigh and shook his head sadly, “But I’m still here, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, ya are.” Bucky curled his hand around Steve’s good one and squeezed it lightly.

“Okay. Done. That should hold and keep it from jostling it too much while it heals.” Sam confirmed. Steve examined the half-brace half-splint Sam put it in and nodded.

“Thanks Sam.”

“Sure man.” He remarked. He looked like he wanted to say more but Steve flashed him a warning look as if to say ‘we’ll talk later’.

Sam nodded and called the rest of them back in.

“You in once piece now, Cap?” Stark joked, sauntering back into the room.

Steve nodded and stood, Bucky following suite.

“I think we’re… I mean, I’m going to go lay down.” Steve blushed a bit and Tony rolled his eyes.

“Look Steve, I know I should probably ignore the giant super-solider sized elephant in the room, but I am not as subtle as the rest of you so I’m just going to say it.”Steve glared at him but Tony plowed on, “Have you two had sex yet?”

Steve was taken aback and his blush deepened. He spluttered as Bucky’s eyes lit up and he cracked a grin, chuckling at the mortified look on Steve’s face.

“Not in a loooooooong time.” Bucky grinned, eyes flashing.

Tony snickered, “So wait, you tell me you haven’t gotten any in over 75 years? That’s one hell of a dry spell.”

“Well I was asleep for most of that time, and you know, with one of us always… well what I mean to say is…”

Tony laughed as Steve spluttered, “for god's sake you’re like a grade school girl trying to explain to her parents why she has a massive hickey on her neck.”

Bucky shook his head, still smiling in that devious way. Sam didn’t look as pleased as the rest of them, he merely stood with his arms folded over his chest.

Natasha rolled her eyes and Thor stated, “Brother Stark, I do not believe the personal life of our Captain is any of your business.”

“Thank you Thor.” Steve sighed to him, and pulled Bucky along, “Now we’re _leaving.”_ He shot Tony a look and the two left the floor.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Once Bucky collapsed into bed, he gazed at Steve, perched on the windowsill. Bucky’s arm shone in the moonlight bathing the bed.

“Stevie, you okay?”

Steve sighed, continuing his scrutiny of the window, watching the twinkling lights of the city below them.

“Yeah Buck. I’m alright.”

Bucky sat up in bed, running his flesh hand through his hair, “I’m so sorry, babe.”

Steve turned to him, a sad smile tugged at his lips.

“It wasn’t your fault, you don’t have to apologize.”

“But I do. I keep taking you down and you keep comin’ back up. I don’t know why you keep me around.”

Steve stood and walked to the bed, “’Cause I love you, you jerk.” Steve sighed, pulling Bucky into a hug, “I already lost you once, I’m not about to leave you again.”

Bucky burrowed his head into Steve’s neck, planting light kisses along his jaw and ending at his lips.

“You gonna sleep tonight?” Bucky asked him.

“Maybe.” Steve lied. His brain was going too fast, he was too riled up to sleep, too afraid of what dreams lay dormant for him if he gave in. He was supposed to be brave, Captain America, unafraid of anything, but he was scared to sleep.

“I’ll stay up with you…”

“Nah, Buck. You need rest.”

“C’mon. At least lay down with me.” Bucky pulled him down onto the bed and curled up close to him, careful not to jostle his arm. They curled against one another, breathing matched, and they skated along the line of wake and sleep together.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Steve’s body smacked to the floor with a dull thud, pinned by Bucky.

“Gotcha.”

“Lucky shot.”

Bucky helped Steve up from the mat, grinning.

“Go again?” Steve asked him. Bucky nodded and they continued sparring. Steve ducked Bucky’s punch, rolling aside to avoid his fist. Bucky never sparred with his metal arm but he would use it to his advantage.

They were careful about Steve’s wrist but Steve didn’t mind a bit of sparring. It took his mind off yesterday’s events.

Steve swept his leg under Bucky knocking him over and pinning him to the ground.

“Gotcha.” Steve echoed, smiling. He leaned down and planted a kiss on his lips, pinning his arms.

“Okay, when I said get a room, I didn’t mean this one.” Tony’s voice came from the doorway.

Steve straightened up and blushed, helping Bucky up.

“We were just sparring.” Bucky replied in a mock-innocent voice, smirking at Tony.

“Yeah well if that’s what sparring looks like I’ve been doing it wrong.” Tony chuckled, “besides-“        

An alarm sounded overhead and they looked around.

“Assemble.” Steve said, nodding to Tony.

Steve turned to Bucky, “I think you should sit this one out.”

“Fat chance.” Bucky scoffed, “I’m coming with you.”

“Fury’s not gonna be happy. He let you help with the X-Men thing because you just happened to be with Nat and Capsicle at the time,” Tony replied, looking bemused, “He’s going to be furious when he finds out you tagged along.”

“Well,” Bucky shrugged, “There’s no way in hell I’m staying behind.”

Steve made to argue but Bucky had already strode from the room. They headed to the conference room where Natasha, Thor, and Sam were gathered.

Nick Fury’s face appeared on screen.

“We’ve got a situation.”

“What’s it look like out there?” Steve asked.

“Well, _someone_ accidentally set off a transmitter that turned on the doom bots. The Fantastic Four are out of town.” Fury growled.

“When you say someone… Do you mean Doctor Doom?” Tony asked.

“No. I mean…” he rolled his eyes like he didn’t want to say the name out loud, “ _Deadpool.”_

Natasha groaned and Tony snickered, “I’ve heard of him, after that fiasco last month.”

“Who?” Steve and Thor asked together. Sam and Bucky shrugged.

“He’s a vigilante type. He went on a rampage to find the man who ruined his life, and took out a bunch of bad guys in the process.” Fury replied.

“That all sounds like The Punisher to me.” Sam remarked.

Bucky cocked an eyebrow at him and Sam shrugged, “What? No one else heard about what he’s doing to Hell’s Kitchen?”

“ _Anyway.”_ Fury pressed, “He’s agreed to help round them up, so I want you all to be _team players._ I know he can be difficult but he’s The X-Men’s problem, not SHIELD’s. So make sure he doesn't get in our hair too much.”

Tony saluted and stood, “Let go kick some robot ass.”

Twenty minutes later Steve and the others stood in downtown Manhattan, watching the robots approach.

“Hey team.” Came a shout from behind them.

They wheeled around and saw a man in a red suit that covered his face, with two swords crisscrossing his back, “Sorry for the mess, didn’t have time to fuck any of these guys over before the team in spandex showed up.”

“You set them off?” Natasha asked, handing him a comm.,

“Well, I turned them on. And not in the, oh baby you turn me on kind of way, but in the killing you with your large-ass guns way.”

“He’s worse than you, Stark.” Steve cringed.

“Haha, of course he’s not. I’m Tony Fucking Stark.” Tony replied. Steve winced again.

Deadpool took the comm. from Natasha and replied, “Oh I get all tingly when you let me join your group Captain Tightpants.”

“Just do your job.” Steve commented, growing increasingly more annoyed.

“Oh I will fuck these bots up so hard they’ll have to walk home bow-legged.”

“Wade, for crying out loud.” Natasha hissed.

“What Tasha? You act like you hate me or something.”

“When do we commence the battle?” Thor boomed over them, “They are in fact demolishing this small midgardian street as we stand idle.”

“Right.” Steve replied. “Falcon, you and Stark take them from above, Widow and Barnes get the civilians out of harm's way. And Thor and Deadpool, let’s get them from down here, try to lure them someplace remote.”

“Yessir.” Deadpool saluted as Sam and Tony rocketed upward.

“So Wilson-“ Tony began in the comms and both Sam and Deadpool replied.

“Sorry, Birdboy, the cool one,”

“Oh wow, Iron Man thinks I’m cool. Too bad no one can see me blush.”

“Focus.” Steve growled, smacking a robot with his shield and sending it flying backward. Deadpool sliced one in half with his blades and shot an oncoming bot without looking.

“Sorry old man, just trying to have a conversation here-“ Tony replied, sending a repulsor blast toward the throng of approaching doom bots.

A robot shot electricity out of its arm, knocking Deadpool off his feet.

“Oh that one makes me all tingly inside.” Deadpool stated, stumbling up again, “I’m fine, just a thousand volts going through my system, no problem. I’ve been through worse. Not exaggerating.”

Steve sent his shield flying, knocking out two robots and grimacing at the pain in his wrist.

“Where are they approaching from?” Thor asked, sending a bolt of lighting back at two robots.

“That factory over there. I was trying to steal some shit when I might have set off an alarm.” Deadpool snickered.

“What were you stealing- actually I don’t want to know.” Steve decided, running towards the factory, throwing two robots out of his path.

Bucky appeared behind him and together the spotted the factory’s entrance, near The Baxter Building. Hordes of doom bots appeared in the entrance, attacking with full force. Steve swung out with his shield, then shot two of them and caught the shield on the off bounce. Three tackled Steve to the ground and knocked the breath clean out of him and he felt a rib crack. His head slammed onto the harsh concrete and Bucky tackled the three on Steve, pulling them off him, and ripping one’s head clean off with his metal hand.

Deadpool had joined them at the entrance.

“You alright?” Steve asked.

“Yeah- I’m kind of indestructible. You’re crazy arm could probably pull out my guts and I would live.” Deadpool replied, glancing at Bucky, “Weren’t you a bad guy at one point?”

“Wade.” Natasha growled into the comms.

“No, I mean it. You were Hydra’s bitch for a while, weren’t you?”

“No need for that, Deadpool.” Sam clipped.

“Back from the dead? Both of you? Well, me too. Jesus we’re all ghosts.”

“I don’t think now’s the time.” Steve muttered, checking Bucky’s face for signs of danger, but he was too focused on taking down a group of robots to pay attention to the conversation.

They worked their way through another group of doom bots before they made it inside.

“Stark, there’s some kind of device here, I need you to see if you can shut it down.”

“Stop right there.” A deep voice called.

Steve looked up and saw a tall looming figure coming out of the shadows. He wore a black mask and looked around at them in bemusement.

“A pity the four musketeers couldn’t make it. But you will have to do. Someone wanted to break into my lab, and now you’ll pay the price.”

“Wow, super cliché villain.” Deadpool began slow clapping.

“You’re the one who attempted to steal my robots.” Doctor Doom pointed an accusatory finger at Deadpool.

“Not your robots, your experiments, you douche nozzle. You’re working on something that can help clear up old scars…and well, my whole body is an old ugly-ass scar.”

Steve knocked another two bots down as Bucky tackled three at once, shooting them in the head.

“Then you will pay.”

“Oh I will? You want it in a cashiers check? Or I can shove it up your ass.”

“Deadpool, please cease your comments.” Thor boomed in frustration.

“We’ve got ‘em all out here.” Sam’s voice filtered through the comms.”

“I will take you down.” Doctor Doom hissed, extending his hand out and charging up his electricity, so it crackled around him.

Deadpool jumped out of the way as the electricity went flying, and Bucky, too busy fighting to notice, was knocked to the ground.

“No!” Steve hollered, throwing his shield at Doctor Doom while Deadpool hurtled toward him yelling, “I will murder you for hurting my new mass-murder friend. There will be so much murder.”

Steve barely heard Deadpool as he rushed to Bucky. Most of the bots were taken care of and Thor was handling the rest.

“Call medical.” Steve yelled into his comm.. He felt for a pulse and nearly cried when he felt it beating unsteadily under his finger. He grabbed Bucky’s flesh shoulder and shook him.

“Wake up, Buck. C’mon.” Steve whispered urgently. Bucky didn’t stir.

“What’s the ETA on medical?”

“Still ten minutes out.” Came Natasha’s strained voice.

“Bucky? C’mon you jerk open your eyes. Walk it off.” Steve rambled, shaking him again. Bucky hung limply in his arms.

“You know I can’t lose you again, right? That’s out of the question. So just hold on.”

His pulse was getting weaker and Steve clung to Bucky’s wrist, feeling the tiny beat of life underneath and the air pulled from his lungs as he tried to focus on that tiny pulse of life.

“Took care of him, he should wake up with one massive headache.” Deadpool said as Falcon swooped in beside Steve.

“How is he?”

“Not good.” Steve said, keeping his voice steady, “He’s unresponsive. Whatever Doom got him with was pretty strong.”

“Medical is 2 minutes out.” Natasha said, appearing beside Steve.

“Any civilians hurt?” Steve asked, not taking his eyes off Bucky.

“A few cuts and bruises, but we were able to get most out of the line of fire before there was any serious damage.”

Steve nodded distractedly and they heard approaching sirens.

Steve breathed a sigh of relief and clutched Bucky’s arm, “Hang in there Buck.”

The medics rushed in and everything seemed to move in a blur. Steve stayed beside Bucky and the medics let him ride with him back to what was left of SHIELD’s medical bay. He barely acknowledged the others as they said they were right behind him, or when Deadpool yelled, “Smell you later, grandpa.” As a way of a goodbye.

Steve watched the doctors work, peeling back Bucky’s eyelids and hooking him up to a pulse-ox.

“Cut open his shirt.” A doctor ordered as they tried to slice through the fabric with their scissors. The material was too strong.

“Here.” Steve stood on the swaying vehicle and ripped Bucky’s combat gear open.

The doctors didn’t hesitate to begin examining his chest. They were covered in burns and the skin was raw.

“There’s probably internal damage as well, we’ll have to order a CT when we get there. Looks like the current missed his heart, but the kidneys or liver could be in danger of shutdown.” A doctor rattled, beginning to bandage his chest lightly for transport.

They arrived and hurried Bucky inside, not letting Steve pass the double doors to the operating room.

“No, I have to be in there with him. He hates hospitals, he hates being hooked up to machines, please-“ Steve insisted.

He felt a strong hand on his shoulder and turned to see Thor, shaking his head solemnly. “Let us stand vigil until we hear he is recovered.”  

Steve nodded, head dropping and shoulders sagging. Tony, Sam, and Natasha appeared beside them and sat in the waiting area.

“They’re SHIELD doctors. They know what’s best for him.”

“But they’ve never had to treat him before-“ Steve began, “He could wake up and think he is back with Hydra. He could relapse. I need to be in there.” Steve made to stand but Tony pulled him back down, with the force of the Iron Man suit.

“ _You_ need to get looked at. You’re bleeding like a stuck pig.” Tony nodded to Steve’s head. Steve reached a hand up to touch it, his fingers were dyed in crimson.

“Head wounds bleed a lot, Tony. I’m fine.”

Tony rolled his eyes and scowled at him.

“He’ll be alright.” Sam said, reaching over Tony to pat Steve on the arm.

Steve sighed, glancing around at all of them, “Are all of you alright? Where’s Deadpool?”

“We’re fine, just a few cuts and bruises. And he went home, said he was going to have crazy sex or something.” Natasha scowled, rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, Tasha, how do you know him?”

Natasha sighed, “I ran into him a few weeks back, he was beating up and killing a motorcycle gang near Hell’s Kitchen when I went to find Daredevil. Deadpool was in the thick of the fight when Matt and I found him.”

“He’s a bit crazy, isn’t he?” Sam asked.

“He’s been through a lot or so I hear.” Natasha responded.

Steve stood, ignoring the pain in his broken rib and the throbbing of his head, and began pacing, his eyes on the floor and his arms crossed.

They waited for what felt like hours until they could hear shouting down the hall. Steve stopped his pacing and looked up, recognizing that voice.

“GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME.”

“Dammit, I told them.” Steve breathed before he rushed forward, past the double doors and toward the commotion. He heard footsteps behind them but gestured them back.

He found Bucky in the middle of the hall, in a thin dressing gown, gripping a scalpel. His eyes darted around wildly as the doctors surrounded him.

“Sir, please calm down. We just finished up your surgery and we don’t want you to rip your stitches.” A doctor said, hands up in surrender.

“Bucky!” Steve called, walking forward.

He wheeled around and hissed in pain. Steve saw a dark red dot begin to blossom over his dressing gown.

“Hey, c’mon Buck. I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”

“Then what do you call this?” Bucky gestured around, looking hysterical.

“You were hit during the fight Bucky. Doom took you down. Remember?”

Bucky shook his head, “I don’t believe you.” He replied, glancing down Steve’s uniform, “Captain America is not to be trusted.”

Steve’s heart sank. Back to square one.

“I got you out, Bucky. You’re safe. Hydra isn’t going to hurt you again.”

“Hydra liberated me! They made me into a solider. I follow their orders.”

“No, you don’t. They tortured you, they took your identity from you. They planted memories that weren’t yours, Buck, you're not that person anymore. We got you out.”

Bucky spat and lunged toward Steve.

In all honesty, he should have seen this coming.

And he took Bucky on in full force, letting him tackle him to the ground and hold the scalpel to his throat.

“If you utter one more lie to me I will slice you in half.” Bucky growled.

Steve had never been scared of Bucky before. Not after getting him back and taking punch after punch from him. But seeing the look of pure hatred and his desire to kill in his eyes terrified him.

“Bucky-“ He began.

Bucky pressed harder with the scalpel, drawing a line of blood from Steve’s throat. The doctors behind them rushed around, calling security.

“You are nothing to me.” Bucky whispered, “You create lies and tricks to try and pull me away from Hydra. But this time it won’t work.”

Steve needed to try it again, it had worked once before, “I love you, Bucky Barnes. And anything you do can’t make me love you less.”

Bucky laughed cruelly in his ear, “You fool. I don’t love you and I never will. You love the man that is gone, reformed by Hydra’s power, made better, made stronger. I am not built to love and how could I love you?”

Steve closed his eyes against Bucky’s cruel gaze.

“Bucky- please.”

“Shut up.” He pressed the scalpel harder against Steve’s throat, making him gag.

The doors banged open on the far end and Bucky didn’t look up, merely chuckled.

“I’m going to enjoy killing you.” He began slicing the scalpel across Steve’s throat when Iron Man tackled him, throwing him off Steve. Natasha ran to pacify Bucky while Sam, Thor, and a few doctors hurried to Steve’s side. He choked, tasting the salty tang of blood. His head spun as he felt people packing something soft onto the wound. He gagged again and heard voices and muffled words he couldn’t make out and he thought he heard a distant door slam.

Darkness pressed in around his eyelids and he slipped into the bliss of nothingness.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*

His eyes shot open and a wave of pain greeted him. He blinked around and felt strong hands on his shoulders and a searing pain around his neck. He couldn’t suck in a proper breath and panic flooded in, making him think he was back in the ice, unable to breathe or move.

“He’s coming back around. Make it fast.” He heard a voice and pulled himself back to reality. Someone had hands near his throat, pressing down to a point where his windpipe was constricted.

He gasped for air and jerked away from the hands holding him down, but they remained steady and he recognized a deep, booming voice.

“Hold on, Captain. We are attempting to treat you.”

“What he means, Spangles, is don’t wiggle around so much so we can stop you from bleeding out.” Tony’s voice replied, tight with worry.

He seemed to be laying on something softer than the ground, an almost cotton fabric.

He tried to speak but the hands on his throat were too tight. Someone lifted his head gingerly, placing and oxygen mask over his mouth and he felt air filter in, although it was an unsteady airflow, he breathed a bit easier.

“Is he gonna be okay?” Sam asked, standing beside Thor.

“Yes. Just relax, Captain Rogers. We’re going to take care of you.” A doctor's voice replied, Steve recognized it as the one holding his throat so tightly in his gloved hands. “The bleeding’s almost stopped and then we can clean and dress the wound. We can’t do stitches in the area of the cut, it’s too close to your esophagus, but I’m told you heal quickly, so you should be out of here in no time.”

Steve couldn’t reply but merely blinked in response. He looked around, taking stock of his surroundings. They were still in the hallway, though they had moved him onto a nearby stretcher. The florescent lights above him stabbed his eyes and he blinked around. Looking for him.

Natasha came over a few painstaking minutes later, grabbing Steve’s hand and holding it. Steve looked imploringly at her and she smiled,

“He’s calmed down. But we had to take him into custody. He nearly killed you.”

Steve’s eye widened and he shook his head, but the doctor sternly reminded him, “please keep still.”

“I know, Steve. But he keeps hurting you and we need to be sure this doesn’t happen again. We’re thinking about sending him to the place where you rehabilitated.” Steve shook his head again, to the protests of both Thor and the doctors.

Natasha sighed, squeezing his hand, “we’ll talk about this later. You need to relax now.”

They waited a few more minutes until the doctor went to change the gauze, pressing down once more. When no blood came away he peeked under to the gash beneath.

“Remarkable. It’s stopped bleeding.”

He began cleaning the wound and it stung painfully, making Steve gasp and grit his teeth. He then packed the wound and dressed it. There was an uncomfortable amount of gauze taped to his throat as he sat up slowly, with Thor’s help.

“Are you faring better?” Thor asked him.

“Y-yeah.” Steve croaked.

“Try not to talk too much for the next few hours.” The doctor advised, “Now I need to report this, if you’ll excuse me.” He walked away.

“That’s it?” Sam asked, watching the doctor leave, “You nearly died and he’s not even gonna keep you for observation? What the hell?”

“Welcome to my world.” Steve said, his voice a mere croak.

Sam huffed in frustration as Steve stood, nearly collapsing, his head spinning. Thor and Sam caught him and Sam cautioned, “Woah there big guy, take it easy.”

“I need to see him.” Steve hissed to Natasha, his throat screaming in protest.

She sighed and opened her mouth to reply but Tony beat him to it,

“Can’t Cap. We put him in a holding facility at the tower until we think he’s ready to play nice and not attempt to kill the people who are trying to help him.”

“But he was different, Tony. He needs to see someone he knows and can trust.”

“Trust? You really think he trusts you?” Tony barked, anger spiking his words.

Steve recoiled from them as though they physically stung.

“Stark-“ Natasha began but Tony held up a gloved hand, “No, someone needs to say it.” He turned to Steve,

“You really think Barnes trusts you after he just tried to decapitate you? You think that he really gives two shits about your life just because he _sometimes_ remembers who you are? Wake up, Rogers. They made him into something you can’t fix, and if the amount of times he keeps nearly killing you is any indication, you should stop trying to save him and start trying to stop him.”

Steve stiffened and got close to Tony’s face, their noses almost touching, Steve looming slightly over the smaller man.

His voice dripped in venom. “Don’t you dare pretend to know what is good for Bucky. You have no right. And if I ever hear you say something like that ever again I will make sure you regret it. Understand?”

Tony, for once, was lost for words. He looked stunned, as did the rest of the team. They had all seen Steve angry, but now they truly saw why his enemies feared Captain America. Steve stalked off, not looking back at any of them.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Steve took a cab back to the tower, the driver giving him a funny look with the gauze still taped to his throat. He entered the first floor elevator and growled to JARVIS.

“Take me to him.”

“I don’t think that is advisable, Captain.”

“Do you think I give a damn about what is advisable JARVIS?”

The AI did not respond and the elevator ascended.

He reached one of the lower floors and got out. The lighting was poor here and looked like the floor was hardly ever used. He walked down the hall until he reached a door at the end. Pausing, he took a deep breath and his throat stung. He gritted his teeth and pushed open the door.

He stood in a large room, with a massive glass cage enclosing it. Almost exactly like the one on the helicarrier made to contain The Hulk. Steve would bet his motorbike that Bruce had no idea that Tony had another one of these built. But by the state of the place it was clear Tony had never needed to use it.

Until now.

The room was illuminated and seemed to shine off the glass. Steve spotted Bucky, his back to him, resting against the glass. He still wore the thin hospital gown that barely covered his bare knees. His raven hair fell in front of his face like long curtains. His head bowed and his shoulders slumped.

“Bucky.” Steve began.

“Sir.” JARVIS cut in, “He can’t hear you unless you press the button on that panel to your right.”

Steve wanted to say something biting to the AI but thought better of it. Instead he went to the panel and pushed the intercom button.

“Hey ya Buck.” Steve murmured, his voice sounding like gravel.

Bucky didn’t turn around, but merely sat up straighter.

“They didn’t tell me if ya lived or not.”

Steve released a sigh of relief. He was talking to _his_ Bucky again.

“I’m alive and well.” He walked forward and crouched down. Bucky still didn’t turn around.

“They didn’t say a damn word. They just told me to cool off and left me.”

“Who did? Romanoff and Stark?”

Bucky nodded.

“Well I’m here now and I’m alive.”

Bucky made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a scoff, “I could have killed you.”

“But you didn’t.”

“I’m covered in your goddamn blood, Steve. How the hell do you justify that?”

Steve sighed and sank to the floor, his back against the glass.

“You were disoriented. You reverted back to training. That’s all.”

“Don’t give me that goddamn speech, Rogers. I could feel myself losing control and I did nothing to stop it. I let it control me.”

Steve turned around and put a hand to the glass, near Bucky’s head.

“Buck, hey, look at me.”

Bucky didn’t turn.

“Please, turn around.”

He turned slowly and Steve saw the blood, _his_ blood, staining his hands and the front of his gown, with large crimson lines and smaller droplets speckling his neck and face. Bucky’s eyes combed Steve’s face hungrily, terror fixated in his haunted gaze.

“Jesus Stevie.” Bucky had gone pale, his face gaunt.

“I’ll be okay, Buck. Now whaddya say we get you outta here?”

“Sir.” JARVIS’ voice rang overhead, “I apologize, but I need Mr. Starks direct permission before letting Sergeant Barnes out.”

“Well then go get his direct permission.” Steve huffed, anger burning inside his stomach at the thought of Tony.

“I’m sorry Captain, but Mr. Stark has ordered a full psychological evaluation of Mr. Barnes and of yourself.”

Bucky whistled low, “He really hates my guts now. Why’d he rope you into this?” Bucky asked Steve.

“’Cause I may have threatened him back at the hospital.”

Bucky snickered despite himself, and Steve almost missed the grimace of pain that flashed across his face.

“Bucky? Are you still hurt? You tore your stitches earlier. Jesus, I didn’t even think. You had just come out of surgery.”

“Yeah, about that, Steve I think I know why I acted out so much back there.” His face reddened slightly, “I mean, more so than usual.”

“What are you talking about?”

“One of the SHIELD docs. I think he was Hydra. He said something to me, a trigger word. It made me black out. Next thing I know I’ve got a knife to your throat and I’m cutting you up- I-“

Bucky’s breath caught in his chest and tears welled in his eyes. He pressed his face close to the glass, close to Steve’s, a wild desperation in his eyes.

“Stevie, I…” He closed his eyes and spoke, “you need to leave me. I’m dangerous and broken and I will do nothing but harm you.” Tears fell down his cheeks.

Steve wanted nothing more than to pull Bucky close and tell him everything would be alright. He wanted to wipe that utter sadness from his face and kill those who did this to him.

“Shhh, Buck. It’s okay. ‘Till the end of the line, remember?”

Bucky closed his eyes and grimaced again.

“JARVIS, we need a doc to look at him.”

“Mr. Stark is bring a doctor with him to check both of you over.”

“Good.” Steve breathed and glanced at Bucky. He was looking at him as though he had only just seen him for the first time.

“What?”

“You care so much.”

“Yeah.” Steve shrugged, a smile playing around his lips, “course I do. Couldn’t leave my best pal.”

Bucky face saddened at that but he nodded.

Steve put a hand against the glass and Bucky placed his own flesh hand to mirror Steve’s.

“We’ll figure this out. I promise. Cause I love you, jerk.”

“I love you too, punk.”

 


	2. Bonus Scene!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For reaching 50+ kudos, as promised, you get a bonus scene! Thanks for all of the support and keep telling your friends about this series. Remember, any story in this series that reaches 50+ kudos gets a bonus scene and any part that reaches 100+ kudos, you leave a comment suggesting what the story should be for my next part and I will write it! Thanks and here you go!

~BONUS SCENE~

Brooklyn 1940

Bucky dipped a cloth in water and dabbed it over Steve’s bloodied lip. Steve barely winced, but the crinkle in his forehead gave his pain away.  
“Sorry, pal. Almost done here.”  
“S’lright.” Steve replied, voice small.  
“Lets get that shirt off.”  
Bucky helped Steve pull it over his head and Bucky bit back a gasp. His chest was marred with already blossoming bruises.  
“Dammit.” Bucky grumbled and began cleaning the still bleeding cuts and bruises.  
“Looks like you bruised a rib. You gotta know when to call it quits, punk.” Bucky instead for what must have been the 100th time this month, “You’re not invincible, ya know.”  
Steve rolled his eyes, “I gotta stand up for the little guy, Buck.”  
“But you are the little guy, Stevie!” Bucky insisted. He pulled the cloth away once he was finished cleaning off the dried blood and moved on to his torn-up knee, bending down so he was kneeling in front of Steve in the bathroom.  
“I can manage on my own.” Steve said, his voice stronger, more defiant.  
“Sure ya can, Stevie, but you don’t have to.” Bucky grabbed Steve’s chin and tilted his head down to see him clearly. The purling bruise on his eye looked almost yellow in the neon lights of the bathroom.  
Bucky sighed and planted a feather-light kiss on Steve’s lips.  
“I just worry about you is all.”  
“I know, Buck.” Steve replied, smile ghosting across his bruised face.  
Bucky helped Steve up and pulled him into the bedroom, their fingers laced together.  
“What was it this time?” Bucky asked.  
“They were mouthing off to a dame, calling her a whore.” Steve murmured, sinking onto the edge of the bed. Bucky sat beside him, a hand rested atop Steve’s, rubbing absently against his bruised knuckles.  
“So I hit the guy and his friends started wailin’ on me, but I got in a few punches.” Pride ghosted along Steve’s face.  
“My hero.” Bucky chuckled, pulling Steve into a kiss. They kissed long and deep, a soft moan escaping Steve’s lips. Bucky pushed him lightly down and straddled Steve, his hip bones grinding into Steve gently at first, then harder. Both of their jeans budged with their hard-ons and Steve moaned again as Bucky sunk his teeth into Steve’s neck, sucking.  
“That’s a bruise I’m okay with you havin’.” Bucky mumbled into Steve’s neck, his warm breath ghosting along Steve’s cheek. Steve grinned and pulled Bucky’s face into another kiss.  
Bucky’s hips pressed down on him again and Steve gasped slightly, his hands running through Bucky’s hair.  
“God Stevie you feel so good.”  
“Buck-“ Steve’s breath hitched as Bucky’s hand trailed down Steve’s bruised chest lightly until he reached Steve’s waistband. His hand slithered under and he touched Steve. Steve moaned again and Bucky shushed him lightly, not wanting to wake the neighbours.  
“I’ve got you, Stevie.” He unzipped Steve’s pants and pulled them off him in one fluid motion. He planted another kiss on Steve’s lips, looking into his beautiful blue eyes.  
“How did I get so lucky?” Bucky asked.  
Steve blushed in the moonlight falling onto their bed, “I should ask the same thing.” Steve replied. They kissed once more and let the night gather them in.


End file.
